What exactly do we mean by
healthy relationships? Who in the relationship decides what is healthy and what
Healthy relationships allow
both partners to feel supported and connected but still feel independent.
COMMUNICATION and BOUNDARIES are the two major components of a healthy
relationship. Ultimately, the two people in the relationship decide what is
healthy for them and what is not. If something doesn’t feel right, you
should have the freedom to voice your concerns to your partner.
Communication allows you and
your partner to have a deep understanding of each other, and allows you to
connect. In a healthy relationship with good communication, both partners:
each other with respect
openly to one another about thoughts and feelings
heard when expressing feelings
to each other and compromise
§ Do not
criticize each other
supported to do the things they like
each other’s accomplishments and successes
Each person should express to
their partner what they are and are not comfortable with, when it comes to sex
life, finances, family and friends, personal space and time. In a healthy
relationship with boundaries, both partners:
each other to spend time with friends and family
each other and not require their partner to “check in”
§ Do not
pressure the other to do things that they don’t want to do
§ Do not
constantly accuse the other of cheating or being unfaithful
Consent allows both partners
to express what they do want to experience.
It can be a moment for both
partners to openly express to each other what they’re looking for. The saying
“yes means yes” can be empowering and useful in thinking about what consent is.
Both partners should keep
giving and looking for consent. Just because you’ve given consent to an act
before, doesn’t mean it becomes a “given” every time. This idea also relates to
new relationships — just because you’ve given consent to something in a
different relationship doesn’t make it “automatic” in a new relationship.
is not a free pass.
Saying yes to one act doesn’t
mean you have to consent to other acts. Each requires its own consent. EX:
Saying yes to oral sex doesn’t automatically mean you’re saying yes to
relationship status does not make consent automatic.
If you’re married to someone,
friends with someone, or dating someone, it doesn’t mean they ‘own’ your
consent by default, or that you own theirs. Consent can also be taken back at
any time — even if you’re in the midst of something and feeling uncomfortable,
you always have the right to stop.
no such thing as implied consent.
The absence of a “no” does not
equal a “yes.” What you or a partner chooses to wear doesn’t mean that you or
they are inviting unwanted sexual attention or “pre-consenting.” The same can
be said for flirting, talking, showing interest or any other actions.
not consent if you’re afraid to say no.
It’s not consent if you’re
being manipulated, pressured, or threatened to say yes. It’s also not consent
if you or a partner is unable to legitimately give consent, which includes
being asleep, unconscious, under the influence of conscious-altering substances
or not able to understand what you’re saying yes to.
consent means STOP.
If anyone involved isn’t
consenting, then what is happening is or could be rape, sexual assault or abuse
above text is taken from the website, http://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/healthy-relationships/
@Copyright – The National Domestic Violence Hotline